Jeff and Ed, The Crime Fighting Duo

By Devin Vanryswyk

It all began in an alley. And with a pigeon.

Jeff lived in New York. He had a pet pigeon named Ed. Jeff found Ed in an alley. Ed was the oldest bird alive. Ed had rainbow feathers, a very long beard and could make sandwiches. Jeff and Ed were best friends for life. They ate Ed’s sandwiches.

One day, the town started rumbling. Jeff and Ed wondered what was happening. It was Toilet Man. Toilet Man was launching a burrito. Toilet man is a toilet who was friends with Jeff and Ed for a long time. Toilet Man turned evil because his mom wouldn’t buy him a burrito. Toilet Man was so evil he put a toilet in the city, but Jeff and Ed stopped him with an air freshener because he stunk. Jeff and Ed could not figure out why the ground was rumbling. Jeff and Ed went to their hideout.

Jeff said, “I want to wear the super guy costume.”

Ed squealed, “It’s not fair that you get the super guy costume, but I will wear the man sandwich.”

Jeff laughed, “You look funny.”

Ed figured, “I know.”

Jeff asked, “Are we going to stop the toilet or what?”

Jeff and Ed were getting in the sandwich jet to stop Toilet Man. Toilet Man is the evilest toilet ever. One time he even pranked the mayor.

Ed said, “Why did he prank the mayor?”

Jeff said, “I don’t know why.”

Soon Jeff and Ed found Toilet Man and asked, “Why did you prank the mayor?”

Toilet Man said, “Because he’s fun to prank and it’s funny.”

Jeff said, “Well stop pranking the mayor because you are so scary.” Ed nervously made 1,255 sandwiches.

Toilet Man said, “I will stop pranking the mayor only on one condition.”

Jeff asked, “What is the condition?”

Toilet Man said, “The condition is you let me have all the sewage water and then I’ll leave the mayor alone.”

Jeff said, “We will let you have the sewage water but never bother us again.”

Toilet Man said, “It’s a deal.”

Now Toilet Man is a good toilet and will never bother anyone again. Jeff and Ed saved the mayor from Toilet Man. Toilet man is gone for now and hopefully forever. Jeff and Ed went back to their hideout, but on the way, they saw a house on fire. It was FireDude.

FireDude worked at a lab, so he did an experiment on himself. One morning FireDude came into his office and spilled some kind of goo on himself and made himself into a monster. FireDude burst into flames and his face became a skull. When FireDude touched his dirt bike it burst into flames.

Jeff said, “What is happening?

Ed questioned, “It’s a human torch I think?”

Jeff and Ed were confused on what the fire was. This is the strangest super villain ever. This would be tough for Jeff and Ed because Jeff and Ed had never fought anything like this before. This would be tough.

Jeff wondered, “What are we supposed to do, throw sandwiches or what?”

Ed answered, “I don’t know. Maybe throw rocks at him and the fire on his body will go out.”

Jeff answered, “Sure, in movies you drop and roll on a surface so maybe it will work?”

Jeff and Ed threw everything they could throw at the human torch, but the fire wouldn’t go out.

Jeff cried, “What are we going to do? We can’t put the human torch out!”

Jeff and Ed were going to drive the sandwich mobile to the local lake to get water to stop FireDude.

FireDude shouted, “What are you going to do with that bucket of…”

Splash. FireDude’s fire has gone out and FireDude was not dangerous anymore.

Ed yelped, “What do we do with FireDude now Jeff?”

Jeff replied, “We bring him to the water park and bring him to the fish tank.”

Ed had a good feeling that Jeff was right because there is water in water parks and in fish tanks so he can’t catch on fire again. Jeff and Ed went back to their hideout and played Super Guys Save The City. After they played Super Guys, they decide to go to Dino Town and go to find dinosaur teeth that were lying around. When Jeff and Ed got there a huge dino-man appeared.

His name was Dino Kid. Dino Kid has sharp teeth that could bite through metal. Dino kid was the worst because he could bite through so many sandwiches.

Ed cried, “What do we do now?”

Jeff answered, “We feed it all the metal we have.”

Jeff and Ed fed all the metal they could but then they remembered that they had dino spray. Dino spray is a spray that makes dinosaurs scared of the people who use it. Dino Kid was suddenly in big trouble. Jeff and Ed were never going to Dino Town again.

Jeff yawned, “Ed, I’m going to bed.”

Ed blinked, “Yeah I am too.”

Jeff and Ed were sleeping until something turned on the TV in Jeff’s room. Jeff woke up and he went to see who turned on the TV. Of course, it was Ed watching The Flash on Netflix.

Jeff asked, “What are you doing watching The Flash in the dark at two in the morning, Ed?”

Ed replied, “Um, watching the best movie ever. Why is there something wrong? Do you want to watch The Flash with me?”

Jeff happily smiled, “Yes, I will watch it with you.”

Jeff and Ed fell asleep while watching The Flash together. The next morning they got an alert. There was a tsunami on the beach.

Ed whispered, “Let’s stop the tsunami.”

Jeff screamed, “I can’t fight anymore!”

Ed cried, “Why? Is it because you don’t want to move?”

The ground below Jeff and Ed started splitting apart. This meant they had to compromise and figure this out.

To be continued…


SCSC Writing Contest Anthology 2021–22 Copyright © by Original Authors. All Rights Reserved.

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