9 Poems from 2002
in the wind
today we walked under the sun
and the moon and today was good
and time almost disappeared
your heart is pressed tight
and times and the future
are hard as changes come
and go, like leaves in the wind
let go, let go, give it away
your heart can choose its course
Poem 210
December 13, 2002
wish i could
wish it was just for fun
wish it was just your beauty
wish i could
wish i could
but the nights are so cold
and i am so alone
wish i could
wish i could
close but not close enough
did i say
i am so all almost alone
so alone
and it is night
close is all i ever dreamed
close is what i dreamed
almost close
almost real
is this the best it gets
i climb so high
and almost get
to where tomorrow surrenders
attention and care
— but it was just for fun
is wish y’all had been with me
me as we climbed
and climbed
and survived
and did better than i dreamed of
i do climb
you dream
we are but slight dream
i fear
water passes fast below
our feet
do you pass
or pause and stay with me
Poem 208
October 7, 2002
t
i count the hours
given to me
unless ugly chance breaks
the flow of life
i pray i have loves
warming my days
unless stupidity stands up
saying i’ll rule today
i know i make mistakes
maybe
costing me my name
i’ve made mistakes
i wait till you
judge my trust
Poem 206
September 12, 2002
as they disappear
all those words
that are naught
all those things
that are naught
all my freedoms
as they disappear
and are naught
let them go and
i am free
Poem 205
September 2, 2002
is not real
all of that anger
all of that envy
all of that pride
exists only in my own mind
it is not real
it is not of here and now
and i can cast it out
and make it be gone
and be clean
and be free
Poem 204
September 2, 2002
old clothes
i am unbelievably free
i can put on
my old clothes and thoughts
or not
i can rub this me away
like mist off the window
or not
the lust is all in me
it’s not the world’s fire
it can and will pass on
as i will pass on
as i will pass on
with all my dreams
Poem 203
September 2, 2002
merely in time
hours flow like rain past me
dripping thru my fingers
and stolen by the sand
past me hours flow like rain
slapping into my face
valleys cut into my skin
like rain past me hours flow
washing off each long day
but paid merely in time
Poem 202
August 31, 2002
Poem also named “Like Rain”
not at all
do i have a right
to be loved
is my voice a sound
that must be heard
or am i a bit of wind
a leaf in autumn
pushed about
here and there
till i’m not at all
Poem 201
July 7, 2002
faster than the wind
i am alive
my friends and i spin
faster than the wind
we are alive
we push beyond ourselves
and sensei laughs with us
you are alive
join us if you can and
fly faster than the wind
Poem 200
May 22, 2002
garlic and onions
my life has a flavor
i’m garlic and onions
sorry about that
my heart has loves
you and the hills
and alongside the water
how could i wish for more
yet i would touch your heart
and feel the winds blow
Poem 199
April 21, 2002
what greater treasure
your heart sees what my eyes see
you know without asking
what greater treasure could i have
with you the sky is bluer
the leaves are bright and greener
flowers are where there were none
will you turn, my love, to me
for hours under the sun
i would walk with you, a while
Poem 198
April 6, 2002
four shades
the blossoms were almost gone
but the sky was bright blue
do you remember?
i touched your hand and pointed
to the four shades of pink
flowers above the pond
do you remember?
my princess i teased you
but got lost in your smile
as hours rushed past us
till i touched your hand goodbye
Poem 197
March 30, 2002
under the sun
the spring wind is warm
but strong and changeable
and you?
i waited under the sun
did you know? did you care?
and you
where was your heart today
while strangers passed me by
Poem 196
March 21, 2002
i return to
as i die
will the wind swoop
and carry away
me
or will i shrivel
becoming more like
the dirt
i return to
which do i fear
the most
which is least
horrifying
Poem 195
March 4, 2002
for rugs
in the wind i blow
my heart crying for rugs
for what? for why?
in the wind i pray
for lust or love
are the two the same?
in the wind i cry
i don’t know enough
to live my life, do i?
Poem 194
February 22, 2002
a fine joke
in my love’s soft brown hair
i found a long white thread
oh joy! the gods must laugh
to see youth paired with age
to be lovely and strong
yet show that time wheels on
what a fine joke time plays
on we who breathe life’s air
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