On the eve of the exam

On the eve of the certified management accountant exam, Part II Financial Decision Making, and also a Monday

Wall slam                                 — Bunny chewed text Part 2 –

CMA Exam blue on white, traditional

I cannot open

you,

you sit next to me topped by Bianca Stone, my lovely muse

Are there days you can’t bear to go home?

Because the weight of everything sits like an elephant

on the air

Poor elephant. not responsible for the bad juju, so there you go,

an analogy all wrong

Some days, I just can’t bear

to go home.

I leave the children there, and let them have a go

of running it.

but they don’t leave their rooms.    They

might feed the bunny, bits of carrots and

leave dirty dishes around

for me to find later

I can’t help but want

to see connections, even

if there are none.

in 2014, Reba and Rin, the stars of a novel never-finished

started on their journey

but were waylaid.

they are paused in a manuscript on my hard drive

What am I doing here? says

the writer                     the artist                      the actor

(the actor, who needs a play, and the playwright,

who needs actors – and a theater, and a stage

crew….      and  funding)

For the one published work, there are millions

the remainder below the surface

I wanna shout these stories from the rooftops so that someone will

listen,

maybe everyone

I’m scared.

Tomorrow

I will allow myself to be locked

in a room for four hours

in front of a screen, with only a calculator. None of my usual tools.

Now. Make something out of nothing, are the instructions.

Make something out of nothing with your retained skills

(retained earnings, you mean)

Why don’t you just strip me naked and ask me to perform math in the dark,

ask me to tell stories of a bone-breaking economy in a voice that carries

It’s the economy that loves my bland and

pays for play by the rules

No one cares if you’re great, in this land. Can you

color within these lines, without putting up a fuss?

I have, thus far,

somewhat, although

It’s clear that I am not ordinary                          What are      the rest

of you

Hiding                                                                      in plain sight?

****Spoiler alert. I failed it anyway. Close but no cigar.****