To My Son, Kenny

I write this letter to my son, nonexistent.

I hope, with the help of another, that you can be brought into this world. I know you will be beautiful like your mother, whom I cannot see, but know in earnest, is there. I hope to raise you in an environment that will foster you; a safe haven for experimentation. I hope you will grow up around whole relationships, like I never could. Relationships that will teach you the infinity that is love. I hope you will be able to grow with brothers, sisters, and dear friends who will act as your blood. For your childhood to be free of worry and fears, and full of creation and possibilities.

I hope that you will be able to experience this world. Experience the gentle caress of sunlight on your brown skin. Experience the dark stagnance in the calm of night, and find solace in the company of the moon and stars, to remind you it will be alright. Experience the fragrant rain drenching your wooly hair, sending it cascading across your furrowed brow. Experience the supreme variety of life; not just livestock and crops. Experience morose carrion feeders fulfilling their important task; regal herons like towering sentinels over lakes, ponds, and watering holes; raptors as fragile as they are deadly and fast; unthinkable species of intelligent ants building and destroying civilizations beneath our feet; every slimy, disgusting fish beneath the surface, unconquered; every deep sea behemoth, wondrous and elusive; remarkable fungi of any variety, with the capacity to sustain or extinguish. Everything unnecessary for human life reserves the right to live, like you my son. Experience and hold onto the childlike wonder in discovering this world. Pick favorites, and build a deeper love for the planet you will inhabit.

I hope you will feel. Feel joy and sorrow, anger and pain. Feel the spectrum that is humanity. Understand it is okay to feel, okay to be. I hope to hold your hand through your pain, and be a pleasant memory during your happiest moments. I hope to be someone you can look up to, to be proud of. I hope to be someone who can pass on essential virtues, to lay the groundwork for you to be an excellent man. I hope to be the father that can rise above all others in your childish, petty arguments.

I hope to instill in you everything I have learned in my long life, to give you the tools to navigate the world. I hope to hold your head above the water, and teach you to wade through the turbulent water that is life. I hope to watch you grow from the small seed I planted in our garden of patience, forgiveness, and respect. Our home. The seed informs your core values, helping you anchor your roots in the ground. You will be showered in love and praise, encouraging you to shoot upwards toward the neverending sky. Your stem will be firm and unwavering. Your leaves will be a vivacious green, and you will take all that you come to know and unfurl a beautiful flower that is completely unique. I hope to watch you become understanding and learned, and speak to you as a man.

I hope you carry your name with pride, Kenechukwu. You are named after a great man who changed my life. He was tall and dark like dusk, but as radiant as a thousand sunrises. I never saw him angry or upset. Instead he decided to maintain an unyielding calm, which heralded my boundless respect. Though I was quite young at the time, he never treated me like I was lesser. He took me into his home as an equal, fed me like I was his son, brought me along to his gatherings like I was his dear friend, and spoke wisdom with me like I was a man. That “Nigerian Prince” helped me through a difficult time in my life, which I now know was just the calm before the storm, and I am forever grateful. I hope you will have powerful role models around you to follow suit for generations to come. I am sure you will grow to be a wise man and change another young boy’s life, keeping the name alive.

I write this section for the Earth.

I hope you will be well enough to make my son’s life, and countless others, possible and beautiful. There is much fear for the future of this world I walk through. Threats of man-made horrors beyond comprehension. War, Climate Change, Pollution, Hatred, the four horsemen of humanity’s destructive capabilities. It is very possible that the world as I know it will be completely vanished by the time my son will be breathing. And still I hope. I hope you can be perseverant and resilient, like you have been so many times before. I hope that humanity will change its ways, and finally do right by you. I hope that this planet will still be the beautiful place I have come to know. I hope that my son will be able to live and grow with you. 

I hope that you can live.