An International Graduate Teaching Assistant’s Unique Experience at the MnWE Conference

I am Nasih Ul Wadud Alam, MA in English, North Dakota State University. Born and brought up in Bangladesh, I use English as an additional language. I am also a person of color. And I am proud of my identity, culture, and heritage. I came to study in America in August 2022. Previously, I had a torrid experience while attending conferences in Bangladesh. I found the scholars there condescending towards others. For that reason, I developed a negative attitude towards paper presentations and attending conferences. After arriving in America, I still harbored a lot of negative beliefs towards conference presentations.

My department budgeted USD 1000 yearly for every student. Because of my myopic perspective, I did not really utilize it well. The thought of flying dreaded me. Moreover, I become so homesick, and love my family so much that I did not want to live separately from them even for a day. I miss Fargo when I go out of town. After attending the conference in Bloomington, I immediately thought about returning home. Fargo has turned out be a place of significance. Yes, it is more than a home. The reason for not going to some other conferences was emotionally made. I did not have the courage to travel so far and live apart from my family. Instead of coming up with excuses, I should have made better arrangements.  Yes, to some extent. But again, I have always time to present again later. There is time for all of us to bounce back. I look forward to using whatever grants or funds I receive for presenting my future topics at the conference.

In the last two years, I attended four conferences in total in America. All of them were online.  The MnWE conference of 2024 is the first one I attended face-to-face. In fact, my conference journey (online) began with the MnWE conference. In March last year, I sent my proposal on “Alternative Grading.” Lo and behold! My proposal was accepted. I said, “wow.” Although it was an online presentation, I thoroughly enjoyed my time. After that, I got more confidence in attending some other presentations online. When I saw the topic, “Mental, Physical and Emotional Health,” this year, I thought about sending the abstract of one of the book chapters that is under review somewhere in America. My paper was not only accepted but also received a grant of USD 30 for aligning well with the conference theme. After receiving the email, my wife and I decided to use our credit cards to go to Normandale Community College with our children to attend the conference. Thankfully, I received USD 330 from my department for the conference after I got back to Fargo. If it was not the end of the school year, I would receive USD 670 more from my department for conference travel funds. I blasted that opportunity.

Presenting the face-to-face conference for the first time was an amazing experience. I attended the conference on the 13th of April. I wanted to attend the conference on time. But I am not good at finding new locations. My PhD student wife, who went to Boston earlier to present her paper earlier in March, attended the conference online. I hovered around the NCC parking lot for quite some time. I did not see the directions clearly. I was cursing myself and the whole world for not being able to attend the opening session, where I was supposed to receive the grant of USD 30. I attended one session. It was on looking for new visions in literature. The topic was good, but I found some of the answers unconvincing. This is what happens in literary studies.

After attending that session, I had to attend another conference online. I thank the NCC staff for giving me the flexibility to attend another conference from their computer lab. It was a conference on “Early British Literature.” Because of attending the conference, I missed the lunch session. I still miss it. The food was free. It would have been wonderful to eat all the delicious items. That literature conference was boring. I did not listen well to others. It is my habit. If the speakers do not present their topic by creating interest, I close my ears and focus on writing texts to my wife. I only become active during my presentation. The problem with literature conference is manifold. For example, I want to present a paper on Kamila Shamsie. Others have not read her, let’s presume. Then, my audience might find my topic unappealing, or my arguments might go over their head. In that case, I will have to know how to present my argument in a rhetorically appealing way. Unfortunately, I found it missing in that online conference.

My session would have started at 1:00 P.M. I entered the room early. I sat at the back. My fellow presenters went straight to the podium first. I followed them. We had four presenters in our session. One of them attended the conference online. Our session on “Mental, Physical, and Emotional Health” was lively, emotional and entertaining. All of us were extremely passionate about the topic. My fellow presenters and I nailed it. The presenters spoke about the importance of empathy while interacting with students and becoming cognizant of students’ and their instructors’ mental and physical health. The session was engaging and therapeutic. All of us spoke our heart and let our emotions out. We laughed and shed some tears along the way. From 1:00 P.M. to 2:15 P.M, we were in a maze.

At the beginning of the essay, I spoke about having bad experiences in the conferences in Bangladesh. After attending the conferences and meeting with so many lovely colleagues and people from Minnesota, I have now got different perspectives. It was not only an intellectual jorney from Fargo to Bloomington. It was a spirtual journey of sorts. I healed myself by purifying my soul from the negative mindset. Thanks to MnWE for being my healer.

The writer is an MA, NDSU. He lives in Fargo, North Dakota.