23 After the Coffee Shop Renovation: A Reflection on Source
I come back to the same
place
I’ve been here before
I forget as soon as I remember
Try to drown this part of me
I say I can’t write poems because of the housework and
try to bring order to my world
But as soon as I turn around
I knock a coat off the
banister
that shouldn’t have been there
to begin with
they installed more seats here
at the expense of charm
and my coffee tastes sandy too
It seems impossible!
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The hockey tourney parents look uncomfortable,
ill at ease
you can’t make a living this way
Get a break
The truth is right in
front of you
If I have to learn this
truth a thousand times
keep your head down
sink a thousand tears into
the sky
you might find if you’re
not creating
you are no longer
alive
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I’m practical, and I always
have a backup plan Taking
the hard work of taking
care of myself and turning it
upside down
My brain was on fire
yesterday from withdrawal
Real artists have day jobs, says the name of a book, and all the other wise people
Go go go Go. then give up.
They’re not all bad
Teenage boys and hockey
what will be the thing that will force this into continued
existence I’ll go back to hell and burst
into tears
Run away screaming that
you, Oh Mother, never taught me how to
live this life
never taught me anything
but fear and pretend
you have no excuses so Stop
making them (Oh Mother, Oh God, Oh Me)
I could keep on seeing the world in a half moon window
you certainly can’t touch me here
no matter what you see
or say
Tempered Glass
Textured in the shape of
bark or chromosomes
Air bubbles
Plan for the next celebration
for a temporary heist
The bitterness in life is
sweetened by your gesture
But it’s a trap, you
and I both know
Because if we believe in the bitter then the Real life
comes knocking
A specter you grew in
your imagination yet
Denied before God
What?
Then
I’m called to teach
Because of your Transgressions
Because you didn’t keep me
safe – or make me strong either
All my Bitterness is reserved
for you,
you Wandering Child
I love you even as I
curse your name