14 In Discovery, in Defeat

I have, at times, been entranced

with the promise of

Power

Tonight

I am alone

in the dark

With an open journal, two pens

I might write about my day

The experience of thought, of being

(including mental cartwheels)

The view of the road from my van

and I sit, with feet propped,

A cool tumbler of Riesling

—not much

Less than an inch left

And the words that just don’t come.

I discovered these tunnels

Within myself – And if only

I could see inside with light

I race through scenarios –

Flashes –

The work that pays the bills –

And in which I am

Defeated

By my own devices, by

My own decisions,

By my own indecision and

By my own hand

And the words, they just don’t come.